funny drinking toasts

Love is an emotion experienced by the many and enjoyed by the few.– Anonymous, 187.) 1. May we have more and more friends and need them less and less. Love is like the wind, you can’t see it, but you can feel it.– Nicholas Sparks, 192.) It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.– Rita Rudner, 55.)

If you would be loved, love and be lovable.– Benjamin Franklin, 203.) 62.)

May we be known by our deeds, not by our mortgages. 68.) She always finds her way back.– Henny Youngman, 50.) 80.)

70.) 34.) 27.) A trade not properly learned is an enemy.

Nothing but the best for our hostess. 38.) 28.)

When love reigns, the impossible may be attained.– Indian Proverb, 76.) 66.) Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.– George Bernard Shaw, 24.) 89.)

May they soon improve. Here’s to blue skies and green lights. ”Out with the old. May they have rich fathers and beautiful mothers. We are most alive when we’re in love.– John Updike, 177.) Here’s to you, who halves my sorrows, and doubles my joys. This one is funny but also a little true! You’re a gentleman and a scholar and a good judge of bad liquor. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.– Socrates, 48.)

Here’s to those who’ve seen us at our best and seen us at our worst and can’t tell the difference.

87.)

Here’s to eternity — may we spend it in as good company as this night finds us. May your coffee and slanders against you be ever alike–without grounds. "May we be in heaven for half an hour before the devil knows we're dead. Here’s to staying positive and testing negative.

83.) My most brilliant achievement was my ability to persuade my wife to marry me.– Winston Churchill, 54.) To toast!

Wise, kind, gentle, generous, sexy… but enough about me.

May you never go to hellBut always be on your way.

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.– Henny Youngman, Click here for more Short Funny Quotes and Sayings.

If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery!– Erma Bombeck, 53.) We’ve made it easy by curating these short toasts, sayings and quotes for you. Love one another and you will be happy; it is as simple and as difficult as that.– Michael Leunig, 206.) “There’s many a toast I’d like to say, If I could only think it, so fill your glass to anything, and, thank the Lord, I’ll drink it.”, 14. 65.)

113.) 36.)

72.)

Whenever you’re wrong, admit it; whenever you’re right, shut up.– Ogden Nash, 208.)

25.) I used to know a clever toast But now I cannot think it So fill your glass to anything And damn your souls, I’ll drink it! Here’s to those who wish us well. Here’s champagne to our real friendsAnd real pain to our sham friends.– Francis Bacon, 18.) Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy.– Frank Sinatra, 175.) May you never go to hellBut always be on your way.– Yiddish. A toast to love and laughter and happily ever after. 37.) 89.)

May your beautiful lips never blister!

May your coffee and slanders against you be ever alike–without grounds.

Where there is love there is life.– Mohandas Gandhi, 182.) 74.)

Here’s to that moment of sweet reposeWhen it’s cheek to cheek and nose to noseFor after that moment of sublime delightIt’s back to back for the rest of the night. 116.)

Here’s to staying positive and testing negative. Here’s to the wisdom of all who come to us for advice.

Never let a problem to be solved become more important than a person to be loved.– Barbara Johnson, 207.)

Fill the glass Pour me some Drinking makes happy What sobriety makes glum. The Lord gives us our relatives.

I hope you get so many wedding gifts that you don’t realize none are from me. 127.) If you’re lucky enough to be Irish… You’re lucky enough! 1.

A toast to those who wish me well, and all the rest can go to hell. That’s why she has us as friends.

40.) 46.) Before we raise our glasses to the happy couple, I’d like to make a toast to wives and lovers everywhere – may they never, ever cross paths! Raise your glass and join me in congratulating you three: [Bride], [Groom] and the huge mound of debt you’ve just acquired from throwing this wedding! Youre Everything Ive Ever Wanted In A Friend.

2. 6.) 120.) But the ocean’s not beer and I’m not a duck, so let’s drink these pints and get messed up. Time is a waste of life. Its real origins remain lost to history. To our wives and girlfriends… May they never meet. However, Snopes says both of these are false. I used to know a clever toastBut now I cannot think itSo fill your glass to anythingAnd damn your souls, I’ll drink it!– Wallace Irwin, 21.) 86.) Love to one, friendship to many, and goodwill to all. 85.)

“Here’s to those who seen us at our best and seen us at our worst and cannot tell the difference.”, 23. 135.)

9.) May you live each day like your last, and live each night like your first. Before you marry a person you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are.– Will Ferrell, 61.) 46.) We’ve got you covered. To the two secrets to a long-lasting happy marriage:Here’s to a good sense of humor and a short memory! Funny beer toasts and drunk cheers can really break the ice at a party. Here’s hoping you live foreverAnd mine is the last voice you hear.– Willard Scott, Click here for more Popular Toasts for Every Occasion. 39.)

‘This toast is considered vulgar/funny, usually happens when the party has had a few too many toasts already. 83.) On the chest of a barmaid in SaleWere tattooed the prices of ale.And on her behind,For the sake of the blind,Was the same information in Braille! A quick death and an easy one.

Posted on February 15, 2016 March 5, 2016 by TFE Times. 71.) May you live as long as you like, and have all you like as long as you live. May you die in bed at the age of ninety-five, shot by a jealous spouse. Congratulations on the termination of your isolation and may I express an appreciation of your determination to end the desperation and frustration which has caused you so much consternation in giving you the inspiration to make a combination to bring an accumulation to the population. Cheers to the future. May the works of our nights never fear the day-light. Love is an electric blanket with somebody else in control of the switch.– Cathy Carlyle, 56.)

114.)

Faith makes all things possible…. 123.) If you’re going to cheat, cheat death. Clinking glasses is an even more recent construct than toasting and mainly serves a physical connection to the toast.

”We drink to those who love us, we drink to those who don’t. 44.)

A good girl and an honest one. These short lines are good for a laugh or can set the tone for a sincere wedding toast. After that, he’s finished.– Zsa Zsa Gabor, 176.) May your love be like the misty rain, gentle coming in but flooding the river.– Traditional African Blessing, 80.)

O’Rourke, 20.)

May our faults be written on the seashore, and every good action proves a wave to wash them out.

Or, as the more practically minded might say, why use long-winded toasts when short toasts get right to the drinking! May you live all the days of your life.

May you live all the days of your life. When the glass is full, Drink up! 124.)

26.) Irish blessings represent the rewards, health, and spiritual closeness with God. 30.)

Shakespeare said, “My heart is ever at your service.” I say, “Eat candy hearts and order room service.”.

To your very good health. The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.– Henny Youngman, 173.) You may not be as wise as an owl, but you’re always a hoot. Take everything in moderation — including moderation. Good as drink is, it ends in thirst. A collection of Irish blessings and toasts are compiled below.

”We drink to those who love us, we drink to those who don’t.

59.) Let us drink with impunityOr anyone else who’s buying.– W.C. Fields, 172.)

74.) In with the new.

With time, though, you will learn how to always get the last two words in every discussion — just make sure the words are ‘Yes dear’. I drank to your health in company.I drank to your health alone.And, I drank to your health so many times…I nearly ruined my own. “Here’s to a night on the town, new faces all around, taking the time to finally unwind, tonight it’s about to go down!”, 28. May their joys be as deep as the ocean, And their misfortunes as light as the foam.– Armenian, 84.)

By the time New Year's Eve comes around, it's all you can do to think of something new and different to say when called upon to say cheers. 100.) 38.) Thank God we can choose our friends. A new life begun,Like father, like son. Irish Toasts Funny and Humorous. To my schizophrenic friend. Need a clever toast for a wedding or party? After the drink was finished, the celebrants would then consume the toast. 15.) This maybe the last time We see this cup. It takes a real man to have a trophy marriage.– Allan K. Chalmers, 204.) 12.) Good luck!

One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: that word is love.– Sophocles, 191.) 140.) It is better to spend money like there’s no tomorrow than to spend tonight like there’s no money. You Drink Too Much, Swear Too Much And Have Questionable Morals. ‘Tis better to buy a small bouquetAnd give to your friend this very dayThan a bushel of roses white and redTo lay on his coffin after he’s dead. To the world, you may be one person, but to one person you are the world.– Bill Wilson, 166.) And have all you like as long as you live. Here’s to us, and those like us.

As you slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never point the wrong way. 3.)

Discover the magic of the internet at Imgur, a community powered entertainment destination.

111.)

Here’s to a man after my own heart.And after my house and my wife.

This sign measures approximately 12x18.

Here’s to great friends.

Here’s to doing and drinking,Not sitting and thinking. 9.) 7.) 130.) We are shaped and fashioned by what we love.– Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, 198.) May misfortune follow you the rest of your life but never catch up.

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